“Studying Zen Buddhism means studying oneself. Studying yourself means forgetting yourself.”
These are the first two lines of a very famous poem by Master Dogen included in his work “Shobogenzo Genjokoan”.
In these two simple sentences we can find the profound experience of Master Dogen. The study of the Way of Zen is not the study of an object outside ourselves.. But nevertheless, some think Zen is a strange thing, exterior, exotic, and they believe that it is the study of an ideology or a dogmatic and religious body foreign to our culture. But Zen has nothing to do with all this.
Zen is studying yourself, and what the Buddha and Patriarchs have passed down generation after generation is the most profound way, more intense, more lucid and wise to proceed to this study of ourselves.
Studying ourselves means penetrating the interrogation “What's this?” “What is this thing we call being’ the 'exist', this we call ‘ego’, 'Body', 'mind', 'perception', 'desire'?”
By sitting in zazen we study the totality of ourselves, body and mind. This self-study can be continued in any circumstance of our daily life, but during zazen the most suitable circumstances are concretized so that this study can become really deep and real. To study yourself is to be aware of, or become intimate with, own body and mind; is to observe body and mind. However, this observation that occurs during zazen, in the real Samadi, it has nothing to do with observation and study as they are usually understood. In conventional observation, observer and observed object are two separate entities. When in ordinary language we say that we are studying something, this means that there is an ego performing an action of studying something else, exterior or alien to the self that performs the action; but during zazen the self that observes the action of observing and the observed object are one.
The observation and study of oneself during zazen implies forgetting the self as a subject that performs a different action, this is why Dogen, after your first sentence “studying the Way of the Buddha implies studying oneself”, Add, “studying oneself means forgetting oneself.”
To merge the ego with the action And with the object is to merge the object with the subject. In this way we can reach a state of consciousness in which there is no self doing zazen but simply zazen, any.
The true study of oneself has no subject. There is no me studying itself. If there was a me, the result of that study, It would be a vision distorted by the conditioning of the ego itself that observes. Durante zazen, himself, our true self, study self; O well, in other words, the Cosmos observes itself. Actually our true self studies ego consciousness.
This observation during zazen is neither subjective nor objective., it is an observation beyond subjectivity and objectivity. Beyond means that it is a subjectively objective or objectively subjective observation. In this way we can see our ego in a fair way and at the same time realize that what our ego sees is not something other than our ego.
Feeling the whole body is the fundamental basis on which a deep observation of the most subtle aspects of our existence must be built., emotional, energetic, spiritual… The most perceptible manifestation of our existence is the body, the meat. But this body is not just a piece of inert matter, but it is endowed with life and maintains a great energy exchange. Because, when we sit in zazen and feel our body, we can feel the whole of our life, we can feel the relationship with other human beings, animals and vegetables, with all stocks. At that moment, here and now, in the perception we have of our body, all our past karma manifests, present and future. This perception is the seed of our karma. And that is why sitting in zazen means feeling, become aware of the whole of our body, put light where there is none.
If we reflect carefully, if we continue zazen, we will discover that in our body there are many shadow areas, areas where the light of our conscience has not reached. Else, we will spend our lives dragging a body full of shadows.
Some think that the experience of enlightenment is only mental or spiritual, that is to say, that does not include the body. But true enlightenment begins with the body. When we sit in silence for a long period, we feel; and it is common that we first become aware of our painful areas. Pain is the prelude to consciousness. Pain pushes towards consciousness those areas that remained in the shadow of unconsciousness. It is pain that draws our attention to the so-called samskara. Samskara are karmic spots that permeate certain areas of the body. Observing these spots is usually painful, and since everyone runs away from pain, most of them always remain hidden. It can be said that we spend our lives burying these stains, trying to compensate for the pain they cause by unbridled pursuit of increasingly intense pleasurable stimuli. But this is like trying to put out a fire by throwing embers at it.
If we want to purify the bad karma accumulated in the past, the karma of greed, it will go, the ignorance, we have no choice but to become aware of our samskara and remain attached to our body through patient observation, through lucid attention. The pain we experience when we start zazen is nothing more than the manifestation of the chaotic karma that we create in our disorderly life., without direction or principles. That is why when we do zazen we have the impression of entering a garden that has been abandoned for many years and is full of thistles and thorns that cause pain., but if we continue zazen quietly, day after day, Month after month, year after year, sesshin tras sesshin, little by little there is a purification of bodily karma, and we can spend more time in zazen with greater stability and with less fear.
The samskara, karmic stains, are caused by the karma of the body, of the word and of conscience, and they always somatize.
In our body are all the traces of our karma. Sitting in zazen is like reading again, to reflect on all our karma, redeem our bad past karma. During zazen all the karmic stains end up dissolving, to purify. That is why zazen is the true practice of confession..
From the Catholic point of view, to confess is to admit guilty of the faults, and from this practice arises the guilt complex. But nevertheless, from the buddhist perspective, the ego is but one factor of many that go into creating a karmic stain, that is to say, the subject is not the only karma-producing agent. In zazen the deepest confession is practiced, the interdependence of the different factors that cause a certain event is recognized, the proper function of our ego in the concert of interdependence. And the samskara, karmic stains, appear in the body in the form of pain, itchy, of discomfort, tensile… and are manifested in the five levels of the pagoda: the biological or plant level, the emotional, the verbal level, the intellectual level and the spiritual level. Some are even inherited from our ancestors, tracing its origin to a time before our birth. And we must recognize its shadow in our own body: in the kidney area, or in the solar plexus, in the throat, in the legs, in the arm, face, eyes…
Zazen is dissolving all these stains in the water of samadhi. In some Southeast Asian countries, through special practices, they focus on the search for samskara in their own body; some are superficial, others appear after long years of practice. To seek samskara is to seek the karmic stains that tie our existence to the wheel of suffering..
In Zen no samskara is especially sought, but if the practice of zazen is continued regularly, these spots appear one way or another. In the same way that when we try to clean our intestines, a quantity of dry shit accumulated during years appears., also when it comes to purifying ourselves, many dirt appears, but, either way, We must not obsess over the difficulties that appear or give them too much importance.
Study yourself, study the spots themselves, means forget
all notion of stain.
The second Patriarch Sosan went to see Eka. The disease of leprosy had spread throughout his body and Sosan told Eka: “wash my karmic stains, wash me from all my sins. My bad karma has been somatized in this disease”. Eka replied: “bring me your sins and I will free you from them”. After that, for a moment, Sosan penetrated the nature of samskara, penetrated into the true nature of his illness, made the lack of substance, emptiness, and that's why he was able to say: “Now I find no sin, no curse”. And saw that her true nature was pure. Pure means beyond the notion of purity or impurity.
Sosan reached the “Jijuyu Zanmai”, the great enlightenment, and Eka was able to answer: “Behold, your stains have already been washed away”.
Kusen taught by the master Dokushô Villalba. Valencia, 7-1-91